Healing After the Hurt: Understanding and Treating the Effects of Domestic Violence

9 July

By Dr. Siavash Bandarian, Clinical Psychologist
Attach Psychology | Trauma & Attachment Specialist

Domestic violence is not just a series of bad memories—it’s a profound wound to the psyche, body, and nervous system. Whether physical, emotional, financial, sexual, or psychological, the scars it leaves often outlast the relationship itself.

As a clinical psychologist specialising in trauma, attachment, and ISTDP, I’ve supported many individuals on their journey to reclaim safety, identity, and stability after experiencing abuse.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviour used to exert power and control over another. It can take many forms:

Physical abuse: hitting, choking, restraining
Emotional abuse: name-calling, humiliation, gaslighting
Psychological abuse: threats, isolation, manipulation
Financial abuse: restricting access to money or work
Sexual abuse: coercion, assault, withholding intimacy as punishment

Domestic violence doesn’t require bruises to be real.

More info: Queensland Government – What is domestic violence?

Psychological Effects of Domestic Violence

Survivors often experience complex trauma symptoms, including:

Hypervigilance, anxiety, and panic attacks
Numbness, depression, and dissociation
Shame and guilt (“Why did I stay?” / “Was it my fault?”)
Sleep issues, nightmares, flashbacks
Chronic pain, digestive issues, fatigue
Distrust in relationships
Suicidal thoughts or self-harm

This internal split—“I didn’t deserve this” vs. “Maybe it was my fault”—is common and can stem from early attachment wounds intensified by repeated abuse.

Long-Term Risks Without Support

Without proper therapy, survivors may experience:

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
Addiction or eating disorders
Legal and financial vulnerability
Repetition of abusive dynamics
Intergenerational trauma affecting children

Therapy can disrupt this cycle—before it calcifies.

How Dr. Sia Supports Survivors at Attach Psychology

At Attach Psychology, I use a trauma-informed, integrative approach to help clients regain safety, agency, and identity.

1. Attachment-Focused Therapy

We explore how early relationships shaped vulnerability and emotional patterns—then work to shift them.

2. ISTDP (Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy)

This method helps survivors access buried emotions—grief, rage, terror—so they can release long-held tension.

3. Trauma Processing & Nervous System Regulation

We combine body-based techniques, trauma psychoeducation, and grounding tools to reset your system's “alarm.”

4. Narrative Rebuilding

Together, we rewrite your story—from “I was broken” to “I survived—and I’m healing.” This is both therapeutic and political.

5. Forensic & Legal Reports

For those pursuing legal protection, NDIS, or compensation (Victim Assist Queensland), I provide formal reports that validate and protect.

A Note to Survivors Reading This

You don’t have to explain why you stayed. You don’t need police reports to prove you were hurt. If it made you feel small, afraid, or erased—it was real.

You can still heal. Whether the trauma is recent or decades old, it's never too late to begin.

Ready to Begin?

Contact Dr. Sia Bandarian to schedule a confidential session.
Together, we can rebuild your story—from survival to recovery.

📍 Attach Psychology
375 Ashmore Road, Ashmore QLD
📧 hello@attachpsychology.com.au
📞 0432 113 820
🌐 attachpsychology.com.au

Siavash Bandarian